The Potential of Children video series

Beliefs Cause Behaviour

You might be able to convince or coerce your teenager to stop rolling her eyes at you, but that’s not the same thing as teaching her to have a respectful attitude. How can we look beyond our kids’ outward behaviour to the underlying issues in their hearts? Dr. Kathy Koch explains the importance of this distinction in video three.

Get more out of this series!

After watching video three, consider taking these steps to get the most out of this part of the series:

// Step 1

Read and meditate on this verse: “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7b ESV)

// Step 2

Spend time in prayer:

Lord God,
Thank you for inviting us into a relationship with you that isn’t merely about keeping rules and saying “no” to bad things.
Help us to pursue and celebrate all of the good things that you want for your children.
And enable us to help our own kids understand the importance of cultivating godly attitudes and character traits in their lives.
In Jesus’ name we pray,
Amen.

// Step 3

Answer these discussion questions:

1. 1. When your children misbehave, what do you think are some of the underlying beliefs (about themselves, about you or about God) that are influencing their actions?
   2. Can you think of times growing up or, if you’re honest with yourself, even as an adult, when your outward behaviour seemed obedient, but your heart remained rebellious?
   3. How often as a parent do you admonish your children to say “no” to the bad things without encouraging them to say “yes” to the good things?

// Step 4

Read the article “4 easy ways to improve the way you discipline” by Jim Jackson.

// Step 5

Read the article “Keeping kids motivated to learn” where Dr. Kathy Koch discusses how the things kids believe affect their progress in school.

// Step 6

Listen to the Focus on the Family Broadcast “Helping Your Middle Schooler Develop a Healthy Identity” to hear Dr. Kathy Koch share how a child’s positive self-esteem and sense of security provides an important foundation for doing well in academics and other areas of life.

These videos are part of the Lighthouse Voices lecture series made in partnership with the Colson Center.