Parenting When Adult Children Wander video series

Relating to Your Child

Going forward, what should your relationship with your child look like? Does continuing the relationship mean you are condoning their choices? In video four, Jennifer suggests two guiding principles that should shape your relationship with your adult son or daughter.

Get more out of this series!

After watching video four, consider taking these steps to get the most out of this part of the series:  

// Step 1

Read and meditate on these Scripture verses: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

// Step 2

Answer these discussion questions:

1. 1. What traits do you admire in your child? Have you ever told them so? 
   2. Can you compile an accurate profile of your child? Can you describe your child’s role in their workplace, the values they’re committed to, the causes they’re passionate about, their closest friends, their hobbies and their future goals? What aspects of your child’s life could you learn more about to help your child feel important to you?
   3. Is there anything that you might need to stop making into a big issue in your relationship with your child, at least for now? What positive point of connection could you start focusing on instead?

// Step 3

Spend time in prayer:

Lord Jesus, 
When we see our child making choices that seem to leave you out of the equation, it’s so easy to panic.
We confess that we have said and done things that have hurt and disrespected our child and created tension in our relationship. 
As we now take a different approach, may our child sense a new level of warmth and respect in our attitude toward them.
And may our child see that while we don’t agree with all their decisions, we still love them very much.
We ask that our child will come to trust us as allies, rather than adversaries, as they work through their struggles.
And we pray that, ultimately, our child will come to trust you again too.
Amen.

// Step 4

Read the article “Family estrangement: Six ways to reconcile with adult children” for tips on how to reach out to your adult child when they have withdrawn from you and perhaps have little contact with you.

// Step 5

Watch our video series Healing Parent and Child Relationships for help from Dr. John Townsend on how to heal a fractured relationship with your grown son or daughter.

Recommended resource

Loving Your Adult Children by Gaye Clark helps you draw closer to the Lord as an important first step to reaching your wayward adult child and healing any tension between you. As you evaluate your relationship with your child through the Holy Spirit’s wisdom, then model heart change, repentance and forgiveness, your adult child will see the compelling beauty of the Gospel lived out in your life.

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