Parental Manipulation

In the second video, Dr. John Townsend describes how parents can turn to manipulating when they don’t know how to appropriately hand over control as their child matures through their teens. Parental manipulation, however, can be very damaging to the relationship. In the later part of the video, Dr. Townsend gives tips to help a teen or young adult discuss a difficult situation like this with their parent.

Get more out of this series!

After watching video two, consider taking these steps to get the most out of this part of the series:

// Step 1

Answer these discussion questions:

1. 1. What strategies have you used in the past to try to influence your young adult’s choices? How do you think your son or daughter may have perceived your actions?
      
      
   2. Looking back, is there anything you think your adult child might have wanted to say to you, as a teen, if they had had the courage?

// Step 2

Read and meditate on this verse: “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!” (Psalm 143:10 ESV)

// Step 3

Spend time in prayer:

Lord,
We cannot turn back time and change how we’ve related to our child in the past. But we know that, with you, there is always hope for the future. Please give us humble, teachable hearts so we can have empathy for our child’s point of view, and open our eyes to see where we have been relating to our child in ways that have been hurtful or unhelpful.
Amen.

// Step 4

Read the article “Redrawing boundaries with adult children” for insights from Dr. Henry Cloud on how parents need to adjust their expectations as their child grows into adulthood.

Recommended resource

Boundaries With Teens by Dr. John Townsend helps you apply biblically based principles to the challenging task of establishing wise and loving limits during your child’s teen years. You’ll learn how to parent in a way that is not too strict or too permissive, but establishes a positive, respectful relationship that is likely to continue well into the future.

Order your copy here